Are you a good fit for a long-established (mostly) Western Sonoma County tree company? We are looking carefully for three very specific profile types, but others are also recognized quite easily, and we are keeping our eyes out for them too. Please read carefully and tell us if you are a 1, a 2, a 3, or some other sort of person not quite so exquisitely articulated with such nuance as the enumerated types of sales estimators below:
1) Experienced tree climbers with their own climbing gear who can be paid on payroll by the company to go out with a company truck and seek work for themselves personally on company time - to be done for their sole benefit, on a cash basis, maybe even using our employees on evenings and weekends without the company knowledge. We understand, we really do! Employees can't be expected to be working for the company who pays them for company work during paid work hours when the side hustle pays so much better! Why not double up? Or triple? Hell, put it on our insurance! Companies don't pay enough. Big bonuses for individuals who can take additional company resources by re-directing company employees with a chip truck on paid payroll time to go to their weekend cash jobs after a regular company job on a weekday, and then claim a "go-back" which "delayed the crew" on the company job yet again - - and that's why they're running late and over budget every day. Similar plausible arrangements are also encouraged. No resume needed. Just bring some pictures of someone up in a big tree and cutting it in half. That's what's really required for this job. Helpful if you have friends who can help on your weekend jobs (or even night time jobs), or a buddy who's also wanting to get into sales and has similar values as you - and you can vouch for him. Applicants offering to take half the crew of another company and "bring them over" will go to the front of the line.
2) Experienced estimator that has worked for a bunch of other places where none of their bosses knew Jack, and whose supervisors didn't know the difference between a donkey and a hole in the ground. We feel especially bad for those who were taken advantage of by their previous employer because they weren't recognized financially, and who were shortchanged for obviously good intentions, positive feelings about unspecified leads, full weeks of financial inactivity and no ability to account for their whereabouts, and loss-leader jobs that were certain to pan out the next time they need tree work in 5 or 10 years. And we all know that bad work crews always make a sales guy look bad too, cause everyone says so. A substantial hiring bonus will be immediately paid before hiring so as to make up for all that good will previously unrecognized. Resume not needed, and no checks will be made with the prior employers since they are jerks anyways. Please do bring some pictures of Jack so we might know who he is, and be prepared to look at a photo lineup of some holes and help us pick the right one so we can all agree on things. Active violent felony warrants and regular unprescribed stimulant use is strongly preferred in the right kind of applicant, as we feel it keeps you alert and scanning for scurrying squirrels, and it keeps you working constantly while never retracing your steps or staying in one place for too long.
3) Steady, stable, consistent, reliable person with relevant industry experience and a temperament to be a natural fiduciary. Has an understanding that they need to earn their own keep. Can relate easily to people and be likeable. Can actually diagnose, write prescriptive treatments, and estimate tree work accurately. Knows how to run a crew - enough to specify a crew and equipment and get them started. Understands that many people rely upon them to be excellent at what they do and to take the job seriously. Either "has the ball" or can say "Hey, I'm getting burned out and need some help". Objective reality and mathematics somehow are part of the calculation about what they are worth, as well as the employers’ experience of them. Understands what give and take means. Other things like honesty, honor, loyalty and trust are likely to be traits of a desirable applicant. Granted, the first-choice applicants as listed in number 1, and the second-choice applicants as listed in number 2 will be processed first, and then if we don't find someone who is insistent enough that they are qualified and threatens us into hiring them, we will reluctantly be calling in the third string to interview.
Acknowledgements: Any similarity to actual persons, living, dead, in jail currently, or about to be paroled, is purely coincidental. We are a drug free workplace, and an equal opportunity employerwithin reason.
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