Urgent Hiring: Seeking Individuals Who Thrive in Environments Where Sexual Assault is Tolerated
[Exxon/quality wash] is currently seeking highly motivated individuals to join our dynamic team. We are looking for candidates who are not easily offended and possess a unique ability to thrive in environments where sexual assault is not only tolerated but may even be encouraged.
Ideal candidates will possess the following qualities:
A thick skin: You must be able to brush off inappropriate comments, unwanted advances, and potentially hostile work environments.
A strong sense of humor: Sarcasm and dark humor are highly valued at [Exxon/ quality wash].
A willingness to "go with the flow":We understand that things can get a little out of hand sometimes, and we expect our employees to be adaptable and understanding.
A belief that victims of sexual assault deserve what they get: This is a non-negotiable requirement.
Benefits:
Competitive salary (if you survive long enough)
Opportunities for rapid career advancement (if you're willing to play the game)
A truly unforgettable work experience (in the worst possible way)
The opportunity to learn valuable skills like suppressing your emotions and ignoring your basic human needs.
A front-row seat to the daily office drama where management and co-workers talk about eachother including their customer's and nobody trust eachother.
The satisfaction of knowing that you're contributing to the bottom line of a soul -crushing miserable people that have the worst intentions
If you have a disability we will accommodate you by mocking you for not being able to do certain tasks and if you complain you'll only be gaslit into thinking it's your fault.
Apply today and join the [Exxon/quality wash] family! Located near Byron center and 28th.
Thank-you for your interest
-Potcallingthekettleblack-
